Spam (not the ham) and is anything private?

Posted on July 11, 2012 by Tara Darazio

I woke up to an email from my good friend stating that her cell phone had been hacked, and it was sending vulgar messages to all of her contacts. Then I mosey into the living room and the Today show was doing a report on eReaders and how they are able to track what people do as they read, as far as highlighting sections of a book, spending a longer amount of time on a page, or adding a note.

Then I logged into Facebook and looked at the ads on the side of my page. A couple for casinos, a few parenting ads, and one for a dubstep music concert. Yep, they know exactly what I like, who I am, and what I do.

Is anything about our lives really private anymore? As much as people try to stay out of this online world by not joining social media networks or not getting smartphones, are they really succeeding? There are just too many ways to find out information anymore.

We have all had our emails hacked, probably received spam from Twitter or Facebook, and received prank phone calls or texts. We’ve all been tagged in a photo we didn’t think our friend would post, or maybe someone posted a video to YouTube with us in it that we didn’t even know existed.

My generation really didn’t start using social media until we were in college, and I talk about it with my husband all the time. Can you imagine if we had Facebook or Twitter when we were in high school? We’re both glad we didn’t.

Kids born today have pictures and information about themselves posted online within SECONDS of being born. Their names, their birth weights, their first nap, their first birthday, the list goes on and on.

Their entire lives will be documented in blogs, photos, posts, tweets, you name it. Imagine our President in 40 or 50 years. His or her entire life events will have most likely been posted online. There will be no privacy, no mystery, no hiding anything anymore. But maybe by that time, it will just be the norm. Mostly everyone’s entire lives will be online. And that might make things easier.

Bosses may be more tolerant of that late night drunken tweet, because they will have something embarrassing out there, too. Kids will see their parents in a different light after being able to view photos of their wild times, or get to read what they posted in their younger years. People will find their soul mates easier since they can look up people’s whole lives in an instant.

It’s crazy to think about all of this and how it will affect the future. How we feel today and in as little as 10 years could be completely different. So, does privacy really exist anymore?And, does it even matter? What are your thoughts?

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Back To Reality

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Tara Darazio

We’re back from vacation and back to real life. Definitely a bit depressing…

I’m sitting here eating cold Cream of Wheat and watching my son throw his waffles all over the dining room floor as I slowly check emails and get back to work. I’m dreaming of the delicious breakfast sandwiches we got every morning while on our trip and my steaming cup of “vacation” coffee. Does food just taste better on vacation? I seriously think it does.

And with every load of laundry I do (and there’s a LOT), the sand continues to pour out of every pocket and towel, and I instantly miss the sound of the ocean and the feel of the burning hot sun. Watching my 14 month old play in the sand and put his toes in the ocean for the first time was worth every 98 degree day we were there.

And as the luggage goes back into the storage closet, I’m pulling out all the seashells and receipts from our adventures. I like to keep everything for scrap booking (even though I’m about three years behind on those books) so I’m trying to find places to keep everything as I’m getting teary-eyed thinking about all the fun we had, and how fast it went.

I not only got to spend this trip with my husband and son, but also my mom, my brother, and his girlfriend. It really made me miss just being home, and seeing my mom and siblings every day. My sister and her boyfriend couldn’t make the trip, but believe me guys- WE MISSED YOU. You don’t realize how much you miss spending time with your family until you get to take a trip like that together.

And even though it’s great to be home, and sleep in our own beds and use our own shower, I already want to go back.

I know memories are the thing we take away from a trip that can’t be washed away in the washer, or packed away in a closet. I have been running those through my mind all day, trying to make sure they stay right in the front, as vivid as possible, so I can bring them up anytime I need them.

If you need a little piece of the beach today, or any day, feel free to use my memory below:

I might be sitting at a desk typing on a computer right now, but my heart is sitting on that sand chair, family by my side, ocean and blue skies all around.

Until next year…

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Organize Or Else!

Posted on July 2, 2012 by Tara Darazio

I own more legal pads than any one person should. And I actually use them, all the time. As I prepare for vacation, I have some very detailed lists written on those beautiful yellow pages and it got me thinking about a blog, since I had it on my to do list anyway.

I’ve always been strangely organized. I want things in the right place, I can find anything I need almost immediately, and I despise clutter. It makes me crazy when there are dishes in the sink, or clothes not folded and put away.

This is both a blessing and a curse. My house is always neat, but my husband tells me I’m a machine and to just relax. But, I have no idea how to do that. Believe me, I’ve tried.

He also makes fun of me, along with the rest of my family, for being such a “planner.” I want to know what we’re doing, when we’re going, and how long it’s going to take. I’m kind of like Chevy Chase in the Vacation movies. He’s always trying to keep everyone on schedule, while they are all rolling their eyes. I’m the same exact way.

But someone has to be the planner in the family, and I take that role seriously. Right now, two days before we leave, I’ve already begun packing and researching for coupons or deals in and around our destination. I have all my chargers packed, even though every electronic device has been charged to the fullest; I have specified suitcases for particular items so I don’t have to dig through them when we get there; I have every item of clothing we all own clean, just in case we want to bring them; and I’ve literally called and checked on our reservations twice.

My lists have already started to dwindle down and I feel better, more prepared. I’m sure my agenda won’t go as planned and my family will laugh when I tell them we have ten more minutes on a particular activity, but that’s okay. It’s what makes me ME, my quirky behavior that they know they all love.

I hope you’re all going on vacation this year and are ready and organized. And if you don’t have a list written, just tell me you do, or I seriously might just start one for you.

Happy 4th! And, cheers to legal pads!

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Good Writer, Great Writer, Rockstar?

Posted on June 29, 2012 by Tara Darazio

I’ve realized that writing is hard to compare with other “skills.” It’s not as easy to measure whether or not you’re a good writer, or a great writer, because in a room of ten people, you may have one or five or none that like your style.

Other skills are easier to recognize. If you’re Lebron James, and you ask ten people in a room if you’re good at basketball, I’m 99% sure that all ten of them would answer with a resounding yes.

Athletic skills are very visual, therefore easy to understand. But writing, that’s almost an abstract skill. It’s not like we gather together in a playground and see who can write a story the fastest, or type a report with the least grammatical errors.

As writers, we don’t have a true way to compare ourselves to other writers, because it’s not as easy as sinking a basket or throwing a touchdown, it’s another game all together.

I think we have our Lebron’s in writing. People like Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, the true rockstars of our craft. But, not even everyone likes the way they write, and may prefer something totally different, so it’s still not quite clear.

I think as a writer, for me anyway, the most important thing is affecting someone in a positive way with my writing. If I can inspire, or motivate, or make someone laugh or cry, then I’ve accomplished what I wanted to do.

Whether I have five people or 500 people read my blog, I appreciate every single one of them. For someone to take the time to read what I have to say, comment on it, like it, share it, that means more to me than I can ever express.

I always have ideas for these blogs floating around in my head, and I can’t type fast enough to get the thoughts out before my brain is on to the next one. So, when it comes out the way I imagined, and a friend sends me a text (thank you, Caitlin) that says “I’m so proud of  your blogging and your writing, you rock!” – I’m happy for the rest of the day, heck, the rest of the week! It’s my screaming crowd, my MVP moment, my time to feel like a real rockstar.

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Instant Connection

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Tara Darazio

Have you ever bonded with a stranger just because you’re doing a similar task, or drinking the same beverage, or driving the same car? In one of the episodes of HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, the main character, Larry David, bonds with someone over their mutual ownership of a Prius, citing “we’re a special breed,” as he waves at the other driver. Instant Connection.

The other day as I was driving along sipping my caramel frappuccino, I felt the same urge as I looked to the car on my right and saw a girl in oversized sunglasses and the ever familiar Starbucks green straw parading out of her drink. She glanced over and we nodded at one another after recognizing the similarities. Instant Connection.

I went to a techno/dubstep concert last summer, and although that is definitely my favorite type of music, my group of friends and I weren’t dressed AT ALL like the other people there. As we donned jeans and capris, and cute tank tops, everyone around us seemed to be dressed in futuristic space gear. While waiting in the parking lot, a girl with pink hair, a bright, blinking neon outfit, and swinging a hula hoop came over to see if we had a lighter. We couldn’t help her, but when she heard the music coming out of our car, she said “that’s my favorite song.” Instant Connection.

Sometimes, the interaction doesn’t even have to be physical for this connection to occur. We all have friends on our Facebook that we don’t talk to that often, or people we follow on Twitter that we don’t even know, but they may post a status, or a quote, or tweet something that makes us shake our heads in total agreement. Instant Connection.

I do believe in soul mates, in many forms, and there are people out there with whom we just click. I have creative soul mates, friend soul mates, and my true love and one and only soul mate.

And if you liked this blog post and feel the same way, well congratulations, you and I just had our own Instant Connection.

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It’s Just a Dream, Right?

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Tara Darazio

Dreams are crazy. I know that’s not a very profound statement, but it’s the best word I can think of right now to describe them.

I had a nightmare last night and when I woke up, I was relieved it wasn’t true, yet I still felt sad and a little bothered. I find it pretty remarkable that a story my brain conjured up deep in my subconscious can affect me so much in my actual life.

We’ve all had a dream like that, if not many, in our lifetime. Maybe we dreamed that we lost someone we loved, and when we wake up, all we want to do is run and hug that person. Maybe we dreamed that we were bitten by a dog, and don’t we always pull up the pant leg or the sleeve just to make sure that bite mark isn’t really there?

What this all means to me is that our brains are ridiculously powerful. And our imaginations have to be pretty awesome, as well, to come up with some of our dreams. And, what do recurring dreams mean? Those amaze me. My recurring dream is strange and I have it every couple of years or so. If anyone can analyze this for me, let me know.

I’m walking though a zoo and I get to the inside part where they have the aquarium. Except the aquarium isn’t just on the sides, it’s all around me. I am walking on the glass and there are fish swimming below me. There are fish and dolphins and turtles swimming on the sides of me, and then I realize that maybe the ceiling is glass, too. As I look up, there is a shark, mouth wide open full of white, sharp teeth, about to crash through the glass and eat me, and then I wake up.

I have no idea what this means. I don’t go to zoos very often, I’ve never had a bad experience with a shark or other swimming animal that I remember, and I haven’t incessantly watched Jaws. So to me, it really makes no sense. It’s just a dream, right?

I like this clip from Inception, when Ellen Page’s character realizes she’s dreaming. I think we all wish we could have the gift to know when we’re in a dream, and try to control our actions. My Psych professor in college said this is very possible, and he tried to give us some tips on how to do it, but it has never worked for me.

So, are dreams just dreams? Just crazy thoughts swirling around in our brains? Or do they have a deeper meaning? What do you think?

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The Anticipation Factor

Posted on June 22, 2012 by Tara Darazio

I have a whiteboard in my house, don’t make fun of me. I use it to write notes to myself, share an inspirational quote with my family, or count down to upcoming events! As you can see, my excitement was elevated today as I realized we are only 12 days away from vacation! I literally started counting down to this when it was three months away, so it’s been a long road.

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It got me thinking about a new post, so here it is: The Anticipation Factor. Strange as it sounds, the anticipation and waiting for an event to occur, can almost be as awesome as the event itself. Before your event happens, you picture it in your head going exactly as planned. I can already see myself on the beach with my family on a perfect 75 degree day, eating boardwalk pizza, walking into the casino and winning lots of money at the blackjack table.

I can be going through my day and if I feel irritated or down, I’ll look up at that whiteboard and instant happiness comes over me. This anticipation is a great thing, but you have to be careful not to hurry that event along, because it will fly by in a minute (as all great times do) and then you’re back to another countdown that seems light years away.

Having something to look forward to is important, but don’t let it erase the days leading up to it. Sure, vacation is going to be amazing and wonderful and I can’t wait to get there, but I have 12 days to cherish and enjoy before I do. And life is too short to waste even one day, trying to get to the next. Here’s to a great Friday! Make it count.

What are you looking forward to this summer?

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What’s Their Story?

Posted on June 20, 2012 by Tara Darazio

Have you ever played, “What’s their story,” or any variation of this game? If you don’t know what I mean, check out this hilarious clip from Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell.

I know I do this all the time, and it can be a lot of fun. As humans, whether we like it or not, we are quick to judge people. We think we have it all figured out. Even though most of the time we’re probably wrong, it’s still entertaining to try to discern what people are like, based solely on appearance or body language alone.

When I was an outside the home working mom, I would literally despise seeing women in yoga pants and a ponytail, pushing their babies in a stroller, walking into a store or into the bank in the middle of the afternoon. I was automatically jealous and came right to the conclusion that they obviously didn’t work and that their husbands must make tons of money so they can just shop and work out all day.

Now, I very often walk around this same way in the middle of the day, and I wonder if people think this way about me? That’s definitely not my situation, and it makes you wonder how off base we can be sometimes.

Nonetheless, it’s a great way to pass the time while waiting for your food at a restaurant, or standing in line at the deli. If we just took the time to talk to someone for five minutes, we might completely change our minds, though most of us just ignore people and go on with our day.

I’m going to try to take a cue from The Breakfast Club (one of my favorite movies) and give people the benefit of the doubt. You never know someone until you hear “their story,” and just as the movie says, “each one of us is a brain, a basket case, an athlete, a princess, and a criminal.” And feel free to add on any other quality that sums you up to that list. Our personal struggles and triumphs make us who we are, not our clothes, our mannerisms, or the way we wear our hair. Let’s give everyone a chance. Their Story and Our Story might be closer than we think.

What have been the biggest misconceptions you’ve had about someone? Or, what have people thought about you that wasn’t true?

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Rain, Rain Go Away – no thanks, come and stay!

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Tara Darazio

It’s going to rain today! I’m really strange and can honestly says I LOVE rain, especially thunderstorms. My husband laughs at me when it’s raining very hard outside and I mute the TV so I can “listen to the rain.” That sound gives me an overwhelming sense of calm, and as long as I’m inside and don’t need to venture out, I’d take a thunderstorm every day.

I guess I should move to Seattle or something. That sounds like a good plan, actually, because my two loves are coffee and rain, and that city can sure provide both. Plus, my brain has always been wired on a different schedule, so when I’m awake at midnight here ready to write, in Seattle it would only be 9:00 pm!

It’s fun to talk about that, but I know I’m where I am to stay, so let’s just stick to rain. I like the way rain sounds when it hits the pavement, or the awning over my back porch. I like the way it smells during and after a rainstorm, and the sight of the water dripping off the trees and sparkling on the grass. I love hearing that first clap of thunder, or watching the sky illuminate with the incredible sight of lighting. I like the cozy feeling rain gives me, the almost “stuck inside” feeling, when all I can do is sit and look out the window, preferably good book and java in hand.

I know this feeling isn’t shared with the world. My sister, for one, hates thunderstorms, really it’s the wind that gets to her. I remember being in an IKEA parking lot many years ago, and if you’re familiar with that store, they have all those different flags flying above the lot. She was quite young, and it was a windy, rainy day, and she was in utter terror watching those flags. It’s funny how that sound and feeling can terrify her, yet make me feel calm and inspired. I wonder what it is inside us that makes us feel such different emotions in the same situation?

I think my son is following in my footsteps. He loves crawling up on the couch, standing on his tip toes, and pulling the curtain back to watch and listen to the rain. And if we happen to be outside when it’s sprinkling, he puts his face to the sky and grins as the drops run down his cheeks. There’s no fear in his eyes, only joy.

I know today will be a good one, my writing a little more focused and creative, my heart a little more warm and fuzzy. So rain, rain come and stay!

Do you love the rain? If not, what’s your favorite kind of day?

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Yes, I do want my gold seals!

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Tara Darazio

I’m a card freak, to put it bluntly. I buy cards for pretty much every occasion, and I think everyone should.

Yesterday, after a $20 Hallmark run, I got the idea for this blog, and I hope to shed some light on this often overlooked practice.

I think the obsession began with my grandma and my mom, both card nuts. My grandma would send me a card almost every week when I was in college, usually with $5 for coffee, or a paper clipping of something exciting happening in the City, or a joke or story she wrote. I lived for those cards. My roommate and I would have the best time wondering what kind it would be. For holidays we’d even hang them up and decorate our dorm room.

She always found the most amazing and creative ones. Sometimes they were inspirational, sometimes funny, sometimes downright weird, but it was awesome going to my little gold mail box and finding one inside. My grandma would even sign crazy names to the card and  return address, so when I received a card from Cindy Lou Who on Christmas, or Michael Myers on Halloween, I knew just who it was from. I actually still have pretty much all of those cards tucked away in a box, and when I want a good cry, or some motivation, I go through them.

I save a lot of my cards. I don’t know if this is a little bit of a hoarding thing or not, but I like to go back and read them, or use them for scrapbooks. I took every card I got for my wedding and cut them up and used them for our wedding scrapbook; and then I cut out everyone’s messages from inside the cards and added them to the book. People put time and effort into those cards, they aren’t meant to be read once and then tossed!

Plus, you can get mushy in cards and say things you can’t say in real life. I’m not the most comfortable with talking about feelings, but I can sure write how I feel. You can be totally silly with cards, too. My husband and some of his family started this ridiculous game where they buy each other cards that have nothing to do with the occasion at hand. For example, my brother-in-law will be receiving a card that says: “It’s fun to be 9” for his upcoming 31st birthday.

I don’t just buy cards, I buy Hallmark cards. I have a Gold Crown Card, I spend a lot of money, and “yes, I do want my gold seals!” Do you even have to ask? There’s something about placing that little sticker on the envelope that makes it that much more special. I do care to send the very best, and you should, too.

If you’re not a card person, surprise someone today and send them one. Who doesn’t like getting a card in the mail? We don’t have a lot of mystery left in life , so why not add some spice to someone’s day?

As a writer, my friend bought me the most amazing birthday card ever a few years back. It will literally never be topped. Check it out below and tell me you don’t love it!?

What was the best/most special card you’ve ever received or given?

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