Tara Darazio

Looking at the preschool calendar this week, I realized we are already at Letter X for show ‘n tell. That means just three more times do I get to run around with my kid trying to find something for him to bring in to show the class.

When my oldest son was in preschool and at the end of his show ‘n tell adventure, I was VERY pregnant with my youngest. I knew I would be back, and we would be going through this entire preschool experience again, hoping it was the same teachers. It was 🙂

I felt like we had so much time, like it would be forever until our youngest was ready for big kid school, yet… here we are.

I really see the finality in it all. This is my final child and these are the final three show ‘n tells…EVER.

The last party at school, the Easter party, was the last time I will be at the preschool with all the kiddos and the moms. Everyone will go be going their separate ways to kindergarten, some of us in the same district, but many others in different ones.

The little bonds these kids have formed will someday become a distant memory if they don’t end up in an activity or a class together.

Last year was cut short due to Covid, and this year, the parents couldn’t come in and help out once a month, so when I left the last time I volunteered in March 2020, I didn’t realize I would never be back.

Sometimes we know something is ending and other times, it’s taken away without notice.

This a simple reminder to cherish every moment.

One of my colleagues asked me if I would be sad sending my youngest off to kindergarten and I told her I would be dancing for joy.

And in many ways, I will be. But of course, I’m sure the emotions will hit me at some point.

My boys get one year together at the same elementary school, which is pretty special. I can’t wait to see my oldest walk my youngest into those doors and show him the ropes.

I know my youngest has been waiting patiently until he gets to go the big school! He’s pumped for lunch in the cafeteria and carpool with big brother.

But right now, I need to simply focus on the final three. I need to focus on the last few months of preschool and 4th grade. I need to focus on my kids getting through the toughest year of all our lives, with the pandemic and the lack of social activities and fun.

Time seems to move faster with each passing year. I don’t know how to slow it down and I try my best to be present in every moment.

If you’re facing a final three, soak it all in.

For me it’s X,Y,Z – for you it might the final three games, or the final three months before college or the final three days before a wedding.

There will always be a final three, but more importantly, we need to remember it’s just another milestone in our child’s life.

Take that memory with you and bank it for a day when you’re old and gray. It’s all so worth it.

Now, can anyone loan us a xylophone for Friday?

I’ve been blogging for almost a decade. I started this journey back in 2012 and at first, I was super consistent. Then as the years went on and another kid came into the mix, I started to blog less and less. In 2021, I am trying be here more consistently and whether you’re a long time reader or a new friend, thanks for being here!

The past four months haven’t been that eventful, but I always try to take a lesson away from my experiences and I wanted to share a few. I skimmed through my photos for inspiration.

September…

1. One kid at in-person school. One kid doing remote learning.

Lesson: Kids are resilient. They are the champions in this pandemic. They were ripped from school, activities and friends last year and even now back to semi-normal, it’s still very different. We could all learn a lot from our young ones and their amazing ability to adjust. My boys are my heroes.

2. Date Night with Friends. We got the chance to meet up with a few of our best friends, eating outside at a restaurant in the City and taking a walk by the river. Not only was it great food and drinks, but amazing conversation. How much I crave date nights, friends, chats and laughter. We laughed so hard we cried. I knew I missed events like these but didn’t realize how much I NEED events like these.

Lesson: We need each other. As winter looms and there isn’t much to do, I need to find ways to stay connected to people. Masks, outside gatherings, Zoom meetings, whatever it takes. I will see you all.

3. Trips Downtown. We still got to the City every chance we could with the kids. We are a go-go-go family. It’s important for my kids to experience the world, learn about people and places and build their passions.

Lesson: Do what you love. Figure it out. Things might look different, things might not be as easy, but they are worth it. Get creative and get out there, especially for the kids.

October…

4. Annual family photo session. There was no way 2020 was going to stop our tradition. These memories are ones we will hold on to forever.

Lesson: Tradition is important and family is everything. The four of us have each other’s backs, forever. No matter what.

5. Solo trip to see my brother. Since he lives in Connecticut, we only get together a few times a year. With Covid, it was even less, but this one short weekend halfway between our world we got to spend together was fabulous.

Lesson: Take the trip! Do the thing! Stop making excuses! If you want to do it, do it. Make time. Sacrifice for others.

6. Halloween. Sure it was different and the kids were trick or treating with masks on top of masks, but it felt normal and the candy haul was super impressive.

Lesson: Harry never quits and Hulk is super strong. It’s been a year of overwhelm for so many. Lost jobs, loss of loved ones, financial struggles, illness, depression, etc. Keep going and do your very best. Find self-care that works for you – meditate, exercise, call a friend.

November…

7. Bridges and Bourbon for a date. We got to sit outside in the middle of the street and sip fancy cocktails and eat steak. It was cold, but it was fantastic.

Lesson: Reconnect with your spouse/partner/girlfriend/boyfriend. Many of us are living, working and spending weekends at home. We are all on each other’s nerves. Try to reconnect. Go on a date, do a fun quiz together, learn to play chess (on our list), remember why they are your person. You need them now more than ever and they need you.

8. November also brought with it many challenges – holiday decisions and watching social media go crazy over both Covid and the election.

HARD Lesson: True colors shine bright. When people show them to you, remember. I learned hard things about people close to me and became closer to people who aligned more with my values. This isn’t a political thing, rather a respect thing. I have family and friends of red and blue but people who hate, discriminate, make fun of, judge or who can’t believe in fact or science are not people that belong in my circle.

December…

9. We watched Christmas movies and played in the snow. We opened presents and stayed in our jammies for days. We celebrated New Year’s Eve as we have for years, just us. We made the most of time off work and played with the kids as much as possible.

Lesson: Make time for the small moments. The kids are getting so big and growing so fast. I am trying to cherish every single second and give them memories they will write about on their own blogs someday.

We aren’t promised anything. We should all know and feel that more than ever after this year. Let yourself feel emotions and work through things. Ask for support and empower one another. Be a helper. Cry. Laugh. Make mistakes, but learn from them.

2021 is still unknown. I will continue to work on myself, be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend I can be and I will keep writing. It is my passion and it is my life’s work. I send you positive vibes, motivation, encouragement and all the love!

I suck at blogging, guys. I haven’t written anything since May. It’s not that I’m not busy. I AM VERY BUSY. Client work, my podcast, working on creating online writing courses, writing that novel, housework, events and activities, virtual learning with the big kid, regular preschool with the little kid. Life, in general.

But, no excuses, right? I can recap our entire summer with a lot of B words. If I counted right the first time it was 38 ‘B’ words. That bothered my BRAIN so I added this sentence to the BLOG and now it’s 40.

BEANS (coffee), BOREDOM, BICKERING, BACARDI and BEER are a staple through this whole thing. So let’s just start there.

My BIRTHDAY was in early June. It felt semi-normal at that time. The virus was ‘slowing down,’ things were reopening. We had a small, outdoor party at our house and it was the first time we had seen our friends since March. You don’t realize how much you miss people until you can’t see them. It was a great night of catching up, sans kids, and feeling the human connection we were all craving.

Then, everything went right back to shit about a day before we left for a planned BEACH trip to North Carolina. Oh, we’re headed to a hot state. Awesome. Our trip was planned way back in January, long before Covid was a household name.

It was to be my family and two of my best friends from college and their families and honestly, we had been planning it for close to a decade.

While in college, we always talked about how when we got older, we would go to a beach house every Summer with our families. With two of us living in PA, one in Florida, jobs, family events, other vacations and having 8 kids between us, it’s been busy over the past 9 years.

We finally found a summer that it worked out for all of us. It’s almost ironic that it was 2020. The year NOTHING else worked.

We went and it was a glorious and much-needed vacation. We stayed in a giant house together. We had the beach to ourselves every day and we cooked all our own meals. The kids are BESTIES for life, made memories and formed a BOND they’ll never forget and we laughed so hard each night as we sat outside on our rooftop “BAR” we were crying.

We were safe, but we also had a BLAST. We made sure to get our classic BON JOVI pic and it only took 20 minutes to capture the below “perfect” selfie.

When we came home, we did the right thing and quarantined for the longest 14 days in history. That 14 days was over the 4th of July, too, which was a major BUMMER.

So, we missed all the family parties. We missed a big, graduation party. I canceled appointments. BOREDOM was the name of the game there. We did fireworks with the kids, but the grass was so damn dry from the lack of rain, talk about BARREN, we had to settle for sparklers.

Through the other summer days, there was lots of BACKYARD and BYGONE time.

Swimming in the little pool, doing crafts, playing Play-Doh, jumping in the BOUNCE house, reading BOOKS, enjoying the sunshine. And doing all things 80s like playing Mall Madness and listening to new wave hits.

One BONUS to not having much to do is you get to be more creative. So we bought things like scotch and BOURBON and held tastings with our friend, Randie. BUFFALO Trace and BLOOD Oath are my favorites. We are still holding the tastings. This will be ongoing. A real quarantine win.

We said BRAVO as Vincenzo got to do his hip-hop dance recital, sans an audience, at The Palace!

We got to see my BROTHER! I hadn’t seen him since December so it was a real treat to have all the siblings together and for the boys to get to hang out with their Unc for a few days.

We filled the rest of our days the best way we could. We played mini-golf, one day we played in a BOAT, we got Legos and BUILT masterpieces. We made the most of our time together and tried to do something new and fun every day.

We celebrated more BIRTHDAYS, all four of our nephews in the past few months, we held our fantasy football draft (outdoors, of course) and my husband BOLDY went with this yellow BANDANA.

The months flew by, to be honest. We found BALANCE through it all. We learned how to take deep BREATHS when the chaos was overwhelming. We found out the meaning of BELONGING. What it means to be part of a family, a friend group, and how much we really need each other. Love always.

We also did BRILLIANT things with no B – we grew pumpkins, cooked a lot of great food, did many house projects, watched loads of Netflix/Amazon/Hulu/Apple TV shows and movies.

Schitt’s Creek was our ultimate favorite and it is the BEE’s KNEES, guys. Watch it.

This Summer, we laughed, we cried, we worried, we wondered, we hoped and now as the BLUSTERY Fall air flows into our windows, it’s time to BELIEVE good things are headed our way and remember to BE present in every single moment.

The rain pelting against my window woke me up. I turned over to tap my phone on and 5:00 am smiled back. I realized quickly it was Saturday morning and we had a few more precious hours before the kids got up.

Even though we still live in the world of quarantine, at least we wouldn’t be sitting across from one another on the computers working and trying to coordinate conference calls. I snuggled up closer to my husband, rare there wasn’t a kid in the middle of us.

I guess that thought instantly woke our youngest. Because mere minutes later, I heard his footsteps in the hall and he soon appeared all groggy, in his little Spider-Man PJs, carrying his Ninja Turtles pillow. He jumped into bed and nestled into his usual spot right in the middle. He’s almost 4 and he’s not so little anymore, so we welcome him to lay with mom and dad anytime he wants.

A few hours later, our oldest, almost 9 walked in. “Hi mom and dad,” he said in his cute little voice. “Can I come in, too?” We opened our arms and he jumped into bed. We were all awake now and just chatting about the day…the quarantine games that Daddy would be hosting and the much-needed grocery order pickup.

We knew it was going to be a rainy one, so we were set to keep the kids occupied, as outside time was going to be slim. I woke up to cook breakfast, thinking I still had a package of bacon and I didn’t. Damn. Little pleasures like the smell of bacon are what keeps us all sane these days. Coffee was enough though and the kids had waffles.

The day was pretty uneventful otherwise, as our days are anymore. Yes, we did the quarantine games. Daddy had Nerf Gun targets set up, a Dixie cup water chugging contest, a ping pong balls in cups challenge and count the marshmallows in the jar, among others. We all actually got dressed and we ordered in lunch to keep supporting our outside world.

We chatted with family on Zoom and after Daddy picked up the groceries, from two different places, we spent time wiping everything down and cleaning the space. This is when we started to feel a little down. The annoyance of not even feeling safe picking up a cereal box and putting it away before wiping it off is just plain exhausting. And then the thought of staying in another night and then another day and another day, it kind of hits you all at once and you know you need to snap out of it and do something that makes you happy. The kids and I baked cupcakes, Funfetti of course, which made everyone feel a little sweeter.

After dinner and setting the kids up with a movie and snacks in their room (So. Many. Snacks.), we caught up on a few shows on the DVR (no, we haven’t watched Tiger King yet, it’s on the list!), FaceTimed my best friend from college and her husband in Florida to just chat, reminisce and talk about how our families are dealing with all of this and then we had a Zoom date with another best friend from college and her husband in Texas and played some virtual beer pong. Even though it was only seeing one another on a screen, it made us feel connected and we ended the night happy and laughing.

Today was such a windy day! We started with breakfast and got some piano practicing in early. The breeze coming in from the windows and the sunshine streaming in gave us a real boost. The kiddos got outside with yummy popsicles and ran off some energy in the backyard, while my husband and I cleaned the entire house. We only have another load or so of laundry and then we will be all set, for the hour or so that will last until the kids decide on their next project.

I’m writing this blog as the kids are now enjoying some tablet time. It’s a moment of peace. We still have many hours to fill before the end of the day. Even though it’s difficult remaining inside these four walls so much, we love being together and even when we are driving each other nuts, I couldn’t ask for a better group to be in the Q with.

When we get back to school and activities ramp up, when weekends are crazy busy again visiting family and watching sports (please come back soon sports) and summer BBQs start to happen and weddings get rescheduled and LIFE returns, we need to be able to look back at the time we spent inside and be grateful for the slow down it provided.

For those of you still working,  whether in healthcare or the grocery store or wherever else you may be, THANK YOU. You are out there risking your life daily and it does not go unnoticed. And for all my family and friends laid off or out of work or scared about their businesses, I am thinking of you, I am praying for you and I am here to support you in any way I can. For all my friends and family posting pictures of your families and sharing resources and offering ideas, thank you. I love seeing positive posts and so many people are using this time to learn new skills or practice old ones.

I know it’ll go back to normal someday and I guess I wanted to blog a bit during this time so I could remember how I felt, how we all felt. We will never be the same after this. I will never take for granted seeing my family, or getting to go to a happy hour or out to eat, or running to the mall, or grabbing a coffee with my biz girls, or working out with my hip hop girls, or watching my kids at a recital, or going out on a date with my husband or just sitting around and laughing with friends.

How are you? How is your family? What are you doing to pass your time in the Q?

Yeah, it’s advice to myself right now. And I figured I’d hold myself accountable by sharing it with all of you.

I tell myself this, a lot. But after a recent event in which I hurt other people, I am feeling extra low. And one thing I hate is excuses, so when people give them to me, I’m not happy about it and I shouldn’t expect people to be happy with mine. It doesn’t really matter the circumstance. If you do something, whether intentional or not, that was a shitty thing to do, own it, learn from it, grow from it and don’t do it again.

That aside, what I also realized is that I can be kinder on a daily basis. I love Ellen. And every day she reminds me, and the rest of the world, to BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER. It’s easy advice, yet I forget it, far too often. How about you?

My stresses end up coming out in frustration or anger to people that don’t deserve it. Today I tried to start anew. It’s a new month, it’s a new season. It can also be a new me. And a new you, if you want.

I always do the online pickup for my grocery order. A few times ago when I went, I had a young man helping me load the groceries and we got to chatting about football. I had him again today and I remembered his name from the last time, so instead of just sitting in the car, I got out. I said, “Hi NAME,” and told him I remembered him from our last conversation. We high-fived and had a chat while we both loaded the groceries together.

Human connection.

It was a mere five minutes, but we made an otherwise tedious task of getting groceries a fun one, just by chatting.

After that, I stopped at the coffee place and the girl that handed me my order had really beautiful nails. So I told her. And she thanked me and had a big smile on her face as I pulled away. You know how many times I might have thought of giving someone a compliment and then not done it for fear of sounding creepy or making them uncomfortable. What a stupid thought! Compliment. All. The. People.

Human connection.

Actually, this started the other day…

Inadvertently, I was honestly waiting for UPS, I found myself opening the door twice to local politicians walking around with flyers.

Normally, I don’t open my door during the day but this day I did. And again, a few moments of just chatting with people, nice conversation, hearing about what they’d like to do for the community, left me with such a good feeling.

Human connection.

We are very quick to not answer the door, or the phone, or the text. We are quick to bury our heads in our phones in a waiting room or put on headphones waiting to cross the street or pick up the kids. We are quick to judge, to gossip, to act out, to ignore.

Let’s be quick to forgive, to ask for help, to be a support system, to try something new.

Everyone is dealing with their own issues, struggles and challenges. It’s up to us as humans to be as kind and compassionate to others as possible. It’s also up to us to recognize our own faults and forgive ourselves, yet also take steps to better ourselves.

Fall is really the perfect season to embrace something new. The weather has finally turned and the leaves are more beautiful than ever. We should feel as bold and bright as those leaves every single day we get to be here on this Earth.

Hold the door.
Pay for the person in line behind you.
Buy the candy bar from the little kid.
Help the new mom with the grocery bags.
Tell someone how awesome they are today.

My youngest is in preschool and the most gorgeous, giant orange tree sits out in front. All of us moms were joking that we’d taken a photo of it at one point that week. It was that little common bond to chat about, to laugh about.

That tree is a reminder of the beauty of life, the beauty of human connection and how quickly things can, and will, change. Enjoy every moment.

Happy Fall.